The most common phrase that I find comes out of the mouth of many of my older relatives is, “Back in my day, School was…” Many complain that teachers would often beat them, that they didn’t have computers, and that “you kids” have it easy. But, lets just look at some facts here to really display the reality of life for kids my age: the world is over-populated, meaning less schools have openings, meaning that you cannot get into the university of your choice necessarily, and jobs are few and far between even with a university degree. Testing is harder, concepts are more complex, and there is higher pressure to get the best grades. During the early 60’s, you could get through high school, get into a decent university, and attain a decent paying job. Back then, university degrees were few and far between, as there was little need for one. Now, you would need to have perfect grades and go to the best university in order to get a mediocre job. Even just 25 years ago, my father dropped out of high school in Vancouver at the age of 16, and got his GED and a job that paid 18 bucks an hour. He never quit, and never had to go back to school.

I stress so much about school now, and shake my head in despair at the people who tell me that I have it easy. Yes, I have the internet at my fingertips, and yes, I have amazing parents who help me with all my studies, but that doesn’t mean that school isn’t hard and that pressure is not high. I am constantly competing with my peers. In the 60’s, Harvard only got around 1,000 entrance letters each school year because a high school kid could get a job without a college degree. Now, Harvard gets millions of letters every year, and rejects nearly all of them. My dream is to become an orthodontist. I would like to graduate from high school with honors, and be accepted into UBC dentistry. But only about 60 applicants are chosen to be in each graduating class out of the thousands of applicants. My worry is: what if I am not one of the 60?

University is not my only worry; just getting through high school is a daily stress. In order to get through high school now, you have to pass several sets of provincial exams in the last three years of high school, and each test becomes worth more and more of your final GPA. Next, you have to successfully complete over 100 hours of volunteer and work experience every year for 3 out of the 4-5 years of high school you have. If you don’t complete this requirement, then you cannot graduate high school. Something as minor as this should not affect your entire future so monumentally. Just going to school and getting good grades is hard enough, so why add the extra hardship when it is irrelevant? If any teachers are reading, I’m sure you are very good at your jobs. School is an amazing thing, but the increasing stress makes it less and less enjoyable. Something needs to be changed, and maybe it wont happen in my generation, but I would like to think that my brother or my cousins could have an easier time in school if we all work together and make a change.

For teenagers, image is everything. Looks can be the death of your social career if they aren’t perfect. One thing I’ve noticed among my friends is that they are watching their weight. Girls at the age of 13 are now going to the gym every single day, so they can eat whatever they want, or sometimes nothing at all.  They are constantly calling themselves fat, and crying every night because they don’t look like the models in the Victoria’s Secret magazines.

This makes me wonder: is this a good thing, or a bad thing? On one hand, obesity is on the rise. Heart disease and diabetes has been an increasing risk in the average home, and something like teenagers beginning to watch themselves, may not be a bad thing. But, on the other hand, over-exercising and putting the continuous stress on yourself that you are imperfect and will never improve causes serious harm to your self-esteem.

Not only that, but eating habits aren’t changing. None of my friends really change their poor eating habits. They load an app on their phone to monitor how many calories they eat in a day, but not where those calories are coming from. You can eat a donut, 2 slices of pizza, and some ice cream in 1 day and still not consume too many calories, but all of these foods contain MSG, extra sugar, sodium, and trans fats. Just because you stay under your calorie limit, doesn’t mean that you’re making healthy choices. If you want to become healthy and stay fit, make wise food choices. And remember, we can all have a treat once in a while, and don’t beat yourself up if you have a cookie or a piece of cake at a birthday party. Indulge, but don’t over-indulge every day. 13-year-old girls shouldn’t be dieting, but they should learn at an early age how to create healthy meal plans.

A few years ago, a Harvard educated mother of two, released a novel called “Battle Cry of the Tiger Mother”. Her name is Amy Chua. Throughout the story, Amy told stories about her parenting tactics, portrayed as sort of a how-to guide to parenting. Unfortunately, Amy’s harsh, traditional Chinese parenting techniques described in the book attracted negative media coverage of her parenting style, many people calling her the most horrible person alive. Recently, in my English class, I was assigned an essay, that was about contrasting Amy Chua’s parenting to Ms.Woo’s parenting in the fictional novel “The Joy Luck Club”. Because I had never heard of Amy Chua, I did extensive research on her, fascinated by her writing. At first, after reading many excerpts from her expose, I was appalled at how cruel she was to her daughters. I thought, “how could a mother ever do or say these things to her children?”. Then, after watching a speech she delivered at a press conference, she explained that the book was not a how-to guide, but a how-not-to guide, since her tactics completely backfired on her in terms of her children resenting her. She told people that the book was meant to show a hidden meaning: that children should be parented with an iron fist, but the fist needs to be unclenched at least 75% of the time. Lately, I have been hearing from my Asian peers that their parents are all thorns, no bush when it comes to parenting, which made me wonder: should parents be a tiger when parenting in order to get their kids to succeed or should they be cradled through life by their parents? Honestly I was quite unsure. On the one hand, all of the Asian kids in my class get good grades, and excel in extracurriculars, but after some more research, I found out that Asia has the highest teenaged suicide rate due to tiger parenting. Although, on the other hand, my brother who throws a tantrum when he isn’t allowed to play with his friends at the age of ten, is seriously in need of some tiger parenting. But where do the kids like me fall? I come from a household where my parents would throw me a party if I got straight c+’s in school as long as I tried my best, and they have always allowed me to follow my own path, but I don’t need tiger parenting. I come home, clean up, put my stuff away properly, and get very good grades, this obviously pokes some holes in the tiger parenting theory. The conclusion is, it depends on what type of child you have. You could have a child like me, who tiger parent themselves, or you could have a child like my brother who needs a hot fire poker to get them to clean up. Furthermore, if you are a tiger parent, there has to be some end to the harshness. Tell your child that you love them, and that you are proud of them every once and awhile or maybe even allow them to choose things such as their after school activities. There has to be a happy-medium between tiger and teddy bear.

Read an excerpt from Amy Chua’s book and think about it for yourself at:

http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754

In the past year, I have noticed how most people around the school take advantage of the mental health claim. Students use it as a way to become popular, to show that they are some beautiful broken angel with wings. I have always been confused and disgusted by this. Why would anyone want to portray himself or herself as mentally ill in order to get attention, especially at a school where this could pose many worries among students and staff. To cut yourself, or to throw up after every meal is not something to joke about. It is not something that people should find funny or interesting. Honestly, if people start detecting that their peers are simply using this claim as a ploy to get attention-that they are using mental illness to be popular- they should be called out, and talked to about why they believe it is okay to do this. But, no one does, which is why I find the whole situation appalling. We are always taught in school to stand up for what’s right and what we believe in. but now students are doing the exact opposite. It is not okay to glorify those who aren’t truly mentally ill, while those who are sit in silence because they are scared to come forward. Statistics show that those who are more quite are more likely to have a mental illness. We need to put an end to the façade, and realize that those who aren’t speaking out are truly scared and in trouble, while those who do in order to get attention need to be stopped and realize that what they are doing is unacceptable. Unfortunately, since the Internet came out, websites such as tumblr or instagram make it much easier for people to depict themselves however they want. Mental illness has become an art form on these websites; almost 100% of teenagers will post something that portrays them as sad or depressed, or that they have gone through hard times, but they see the light at the end of the tunnel. Mental illness is, again, not a joke, a way to be popular, or a thing you can use to get away with your behavior. It is time to put a sop to the glorification of mental illness, but it starts with parents. If you have a teenager, try and get to know them more, set up an instagram page, and see if there is anything you can do to stop this. Help the world take a stand against mental illness.

Find out more at:

 

http://smeharbinger.net/news/glorifying-and-romanticizing-mental-illness-online

Have you ever let slip a swear in front of your child and been scared to death that they would repeat you? Swearing in front of your kids can be a tricky subject since every child is different, as well as every parent. Saying the word &*$! or &*$! in front of your child can be fine in one household, while disastrous in another. What I have concurred to be the main fear among parents is whether or not their child will repeat the words in public, and if they will turn out as bad young adults and adults if they swear. These are completely rational fears that I still wonder about myself.

But, having said that, I don’t believe they are things that are needed to be worried about. I come from an open household, where everybody is allowed to swear. At a young age, my mother taught me when it was appropriate to swear, and whom it was appropriate to swear in front of. This is honestly the best tactic to take when worried about your child swearing. I believe that they should be exposed to it, and taught when to swear and when not to, so just in case they come across a person swearing on transit, or on the street or in the grocery store, they can be prepared. Even if you are a parent who doesn’t tolerate any swearing, it is better that they understand the concept, and why you believe it is bad, so that they know not to do it. As for them turning out bad, I am an honor roll student who comes from an openly swearing household, so no, I don’t believe that swearing can turn your kids into bad people. As long as it is used in proper context, and not used unless absolutely necessary, then children will be fine. Many of my peers who aren’t allowed to swear in the household actually turn to swearing outside of school, and they go behind their parent’s backs in order to do so. You just need to trust your kids, and teach them the proper swearing etiquette, and then they will turn out fine. Wouldn’t you rather you knew that your kids swore and were using it wisely, than not knowing at all and them having to constantly lie when they do swear secretly? I choose the latter.

Find out about swearing in front of children at:

www.parentdish.co.uk/kids/swearing-in-front-of-children/

AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and The White stripes: all of these legendary bands are in many peoples opinions the greatest bands of all time, but should you expose your children to them or only to classical music. In my household, all music is accepted. With both of my parents being musically inclined, I have always had exposure to a wide range of music. When I was born, the most popular trend among parents was to play classical music around your children, as it was said to increase the intelligence of children, develop their motor skills quicker, and make them generally more attentive.

I have always questioned this theory, and my life experiences make my doubts true. I honestly do not believe that this theory is true, since I am an honor roll student, and have barely listened to any classical music is my entire life. I grew up listening to The Beatles, Queen, Led Zeppelin, and many more. In my eye, Rock and Alternative music can benefit your children much more than any other types of music. Classical music contains little substance, and teaches children nothing about speech patterns, or the meaning behind the words. Most “Rock” songs contain a hidden meaning within the words, and the lyrics usually come from a place of pain and anguish (sometimes from a place of extreme joy or content). These amazing words help people get through hard times, and work though complicated feelings that might not be able to be fixed through talking to friends or family. Rock teaches you to cope with life, and learn to help yourself and others in time of need. Truthfully, the type of music that should be avoided from children is pop, because while it teaches people to have fun, it too contains no substance, and most people that enjoy it thoroughly do not learn important lessons that can be taught through the beauty that is Rock and Roll. All in all, really any music can help children, as long as it works for them. For all you know, when your child listens to Katy Perry, they could create an amazing interpretive dance, or solve an Einstein worthy math equation. Listen to your kids and their taste in music, because they will listen to whatever makes them feel good, and whatever they believe is going to help them reach their potential.

Find out more about music development in children at:

www.educationoasis.com/resources/Articles/building_babys_brain.htm

Recently, I have noticed that children are adapting more and more quickly in today’s technologically advanced society. I see babies, toddlers, and teens attached at the hands with almost every piece of technology you could name. The one question I hear many parents talking about on the bus, at home, and during my babysitting runs is whether or not to expose their children to technology at such an early age. When you were a kid, did you ever hear the phrase, “come on, sweetie, time to turn off the TV and head off to bed”? Well, this common sentence has developed a whole new meaning in today’s modern age. Now, children and adults can access every corner of the media through devices as small as a chocolate bar. You can type in any question from any homework sheet available, and answers instantly pop up on my best friend, Google.

The question is, is this really good for you, and should it be available for such young minds? My answer is yes; I believe that technology should be used in moderation, because too much can be harmful, especially for babies, but if it is being used wisely and responsibly then there should be no problem. However, when technology is given to children as a vice for distraction or a soothing toy, they can become reliant on such instruments, which is not good for their development. Take it from a technology needy teenager, who until 4 years ago had no idea what an iPhone was: give your kids technology, but start out with things as simple as television instead of shoving a phone in their faces as soon as they come out of the womb, because while technology is amazing and it helps me with homework on a daily basis, I would give anything to not know what it is like to have a phone in my pocket 24/7. Give them a chance to explore the world without all of these fancy gadgets, so that they can decide whether or not they want to indulge in the pixilated wasteland that is the Internet. Make it an option, not a necessity.

Here are two contrasting articles about children and technology:

https://digiparenthood.wordpress.com/…/10-benefits-of-exposing–young…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cris-rowan/10-reasons-why-handheld-devices-should-be-banned_b_4899218.html