My nearly-seven year old son has long hair, and I’m constantly amazed at how people react to that. I get disgust, confusion, and (fortunately) a lot of compliments on how nice it is. I personally believe that if hair is the only thing a parent argues with their child over, well, you’re doing parenting well. My mom gave me quite a bit of latitude as a young girl and teenager about my hair (thanks Mom!), and I’ve always appreciated that freedom. Whether I knew it or not, and whether my mom did it on purpose or not, as a teen I cut my mom slack in other areas in exchange for her liberal attitude toward my hair choices.

Now, the rule at our house with my son is that if he wants to wear his hair long, he needs to keep it brushed and keep it clean. We used to take him to the barber for short cuts, but at some point around five years old, he said he didn’t want to cut it and I’m a big believer in respecting a child’s choices if they don’t impact others negatively. It’s possible that at some point he will find it annoying and hanging in his face and request it be cut, or he may just keep growing it. Either way, I am not prepared to make this an issue. “Hair” is not on my Parent Worry List unless it is also followed by “lice”.

But the reactions I (and sometimes he) get from both men and women are incredibly interesting. Some people are visibly uncomfortable and will ask not-so-subtle questions like “But isn’t it always in his face?” [no more than me and my hair] “Doesn’t he always get called a girl?” [occasionally] “Doesn’t that bother him?” [nope, as you can clearly see].

So, why do we care so much about boys with long hair?

Historically speaking, it was the fashion in Ancient Greece and Rome for men to wear their hair long, as it was a symbol of wealth and power. Many Greek gods are depicted as having long flowing locks and big poufy beards (see my man, Zeus, on the left), and generally throughout the ages, most European cultures associated long hair on men as a symbol of status, power, wealth, and adventure. Here on Canadian soil, many First Nations families were filled with boys and men with long hair as an extension of their spirit. Culturally speaking, many men wear their hair long for religious reasons. Sikhs, some Muslims, and certain aspects of Orthodox Judaism have long facial or head hair and Rastafari often have long dreadlocks. So when did things change?

According to this article about the history of hair in the military, before World War I, it was the norm for men to have long hair and beards. Braids and other ways of tying the hair back were common.

But starting in World War I, beards were not permitted to ensure a good fit around a gas mask and it was regulated by the American military that the longest hair could be was one inch for personal hygiene reasons (see also: trench warfare and  subsequent lice and fleas – ew). Considering the number of men who would have been conscripted into military service, I wonder if it became somewhat of a manufactured trend upon the soldiers’ return home – everyone had their hair short, so it seemed more popular.

There’s a lot of modern day sex symbols with long locks (see this slightly ridiculous slideshow chronicling Brad Pitt’s hair or all these Tumblr images of Red Hot Chili Pepper frontman Anthony Kiedas’ long hair) which may also account for some of the discomfort people experience when we are talking about little boys with long hair. People may be thinking that it’s okay for adult men to have long stylish hair as a part of their sexual identity, but it’s not appropriate for a little boy.

My young son loves his long hair because (he tells me) it makes him different and he likes the way it feels on his neck. I think he likes to fiddle with it, too – I frequently catch him twirling his hair round and round his finger and tugging it (a habit I have to confess I have, too). It’s such a part of him now that when I look at pictures of him from only two years ago, with close-cropped style, it seems so strange!

Like I said, his long hair is not a fight I care to fight – in fact, it’s not a fight at all. He loves it, and it’s his hair. My job here as his parent is to prepare him for the inevitable prodding from people who should really just mind their business.

This guest post is contributed by Kids New West Ambassador Jen Arbo, a local resident and parent, and doesn’t necessarily reflect the views of the Kids New West Child Development Committee. Interested in becoming a volunteer Ambassador and sharing your thoughts on our blog? Check out this page for information.